Slipping Away Quietly
by shewasa-silvergirl
Summary: "Just as the night fell, three days after the Healer had told them all Narcissa was getting ready to go, Narcissa's heart beat its final beat, and she slipped quietly out of the world." A story chronicling Narcissa's death from the time she was diagnosed with the disease that takes her life to her final words to various members of her family.


Author's note: My main headcanon is that Lucius and Narcissa grow old and die within hours of one another; however, this story popped into my head and I just had to write it. It's been a while, so I'm a bit rusty. Thanks for reading.

* * *

It was late in the evening on a cold, grey winter's day when the Malfoy family and Andromeda Tonks sat around Narcissa's bed in St. Mungo's. Lucius was holding his wife's had and stroking it absentmindedly with his thumb, silent tears running down his face; Andromeda had Narcissa's other hand clasped in both of her own and was weeping openly with her head bowed; Draco sat next to his father, staring blankly at the wall, then at his mother, then at the wall again; his wife, Astoria, sat beside Andromeda, rubbing her back and making shushing noises, occasionally glancing nervously at her husband. The Healers told them that morning that Narcissa was not going to wake back up and that she had only hours left before her heart would stop beating.

" _We're sorry, Mrs. Malfoy; we can't tell you exactly what is causing you to be sick, nor do we believe there is a cure for it. We don't how long it will last or how it will affect your life. We are so, so sorry."_

" _That's quite alright," Narcissa said, looking over at her husband, who was sitting in the chair next to her, looking both sad and angry at this news, "I'll just have to carry on the best that I can, won't I?"_

 _"We will do everything we can to ensure that you have the best possible quality of life for as along as you can."_

 _"Thank you; I appreciate that very much."_

It had been three years since Narcissa had come down with the mysterious illness that had caused her to spend the past year lying in a hospital bed, attempting to continue to live life as normally as she could even though her health was deteriorating and her body was wasting way without a thing to be done about it.

" _I'm alright, darling," she told her sister over lunch the day after she received the news that there was no way to determine what disease she had and how to treat it, nor how quickly or slowly it might kill her, "I just have to keep living as long as possible. Please don't be upset."_

" _B-but," Andromeda sobbed, "You a-aren't even th-that old, y-you c_ -can't _die n-now."_

" _I won't go anywhere soon if I can help it," Narcissa said, placing an affectionate hand over her sister's and patting it gently, "For right now, I'm still here; I'm still perfectly alright."_

 _"What are you going to do?"_

 _"For now, I am going to continue to live life as usual. I have to go to the Healer every three weeks for monitoring, and I have potions to take to help ease the symptoms and that will, hopefully, prolong my life. There is nothing more I can do. No one knows what it is or how I got it, so there is no cure for it."_

 _"That sounds awful," Andromeda whispered, "Knowing you have something wrong with you that you can't fix and that could kill you in five weeks or five years."_

 _"Please, don't worry about me," said Narcissa, "We'll deal with it as it comes. It's a beautiful day; the snow is soft and white, the sun is shining. Let's enjoy ourselves; there's nothing to be too concerned over yet."_

Narcissa had tried to live as normally as possible for as long as she could; she had continued to get up in the morning, do her hair and makeup, visit her sister and her grandson as often as she liked, to shop, to cook…

Just over a year later, though, she started to feel the impact of the illness more acutely, as if a switch that started up the clock numbering her days had been turned on.

" _Cissy!"_

" _Narcissa!"_

" _Mum!"_

 _They were gathered at Malfoy Manor, enjoying their time together at Christmas. Narcissa had announced she was going to go fetch the pudding she had made when she felt as if her legs had turned to jelly and crashed onto the floor._

" _I'm alright," she said, but as she stood up, her legs gave way again, and Lucius barely caught her before she hit the floor a second time._

 _The next day, after spending the night in the hospital having tests run and being told that the disease was beginning to progress, she came home in a wheelchair._

After she lost her ability to walk, she began spending more and more time in bed; she became more tired and weary, and the smallest of outings would have her asleep for the majority of the next day. Draco and Astoria, without any debate, brought her and Lucius to live with them so that they could all be together and help to take care of her; Andromeda tried to keep her entertained with books and card games, and sometimes Scorpius would come in and sit in bed with her so that he could play, too.

" _That's not fair!" cried the boy, who so resembled his father that it amazed Narcissa sometimes, "You saw my cards!"_

" _Did I?" Narcissa asked playfully, "Well, maybe you should hide them better, my little love."_

" _Cut it out, you two," Andromeda laughed, "Narcissa, you can't cheat the poor kid that way! It isn't right!"_

" _Alright, alright," Narcissa conceded, "I'll tell you what; you can have the Every Flavour Beans. I shouldn't be eating them anyway."_

 _But Scorpius was kind and split the box of beans they had been playing for that evening 50/50. He adored his grandmother, and he wanted to make her happy since he knew, even as young as he was, that she was sick and was not going to get better._

" _I love you, Grandma," he said, curling his arm around her waist and resting his head on her chest._

" _I love you too, darling dearest," she said back, kissing his hair and holding him tightly to her, tears brimming in her eyes._

It had taken her another several months to reach the point where her family alone could not help her; she had become incontinent and even more immobile, and was beginning to become more and more resigned from the people around her. Everyone was having a more difficult time caring for her; Andromeda had left her own grandson to stay with the Weasleys and Harry while she stayed at the manor to look after her sister. Draco and Astoria were doing their best to convince Narcissa that she wasn't a bother to them and that they didn't mind tending to her, but they had quickly come to the realization that they had no idea how to care for someone who was in her condition. Lucius, however, was in a state of denial, and, despite everyone else's agreement that she needed to be moved to a care facility, had insisted on keeping her in the house a little longer, not wanting to accept that she really was getting sicker.

" _Lucius, we can't keep her here like this; it isn't fair to her. We can't take care of her anymore, and she hates it that we have to. She hates it that we have to bathe her and dress her and change her diapers; it's embarrassing for her."_

" _She's right, Father," Draco agreed in a sad voice, "She needs other people to do that stuff; we need to just, you know, sit with her, talk to her,_ comfort _her. She feels like she's a burden to us, and she shouldn't have to."_

" _Lucius, I know I don't really have a right to say it, but they have a point," said Astoria, "The Healers at St. Mungo's can take better care of her than we can. She's depressed; I know she tries not to act like it, but it really upsets her that we are the ones caring for her. She needs people to do it who aren't her family; it would make things much easier."_

" _It's cruel to keep her here," Andromeda stated, "I know it's hard to let her go, but we have to, Lucius, she isn't comfortable; she hasn't been for a long time, and you can't tell me you haven't noticed it, because I know you have. She needs to be somewhere where people are better equipped to deal with this kind of a thing. I used to work at the hospital, I know the Healers there would do a fantastic job of keeping her clean and comfortable; they would certainly do a better job than we are doing."_

" _It's the best thing for her, Father," Draco said softly, reaching out and placing his hand on his Father's wrist, just as his mother had always done when she wanted to convince him to do something, "She'd be happier there, and that's all that matters, right?"_

Three days later, they moved Narcissa into a private room in St. Mungo's. They were all sad that it had gotten to this point, but they had known it was inevitable, and Lucius had finally agreed that it was time they placed her in the care of people other than themselves so that they could simply be there for her. Narcissa said she was happy there, that her Healers were nice to her and that they made her feel welcomed and more cheerful. Lucius, Andromeda, Draco and Astoria visited her every day and brought her photographs and her favorite things from home so that she would feel even more comfortable there. Astoria brought in beautiful flower arrangements to set around the room. On her best days, her Healer would allow Lucius to transfer Narcissa into her wheelchair and go on walks through the hallways with her, or even take her up to the tearoom and let her enjoy a cup of tea in a place that wasn't her room. On her worst days, Narcissa would sleep most of the day away and allow Andromeda to read to her when she was awake. Draco and Astoria still brought Scorpius around to visit her, and they would all sit as a family and play games together to keep her from being bored. Narcissa said often that she couldn't imagine anything better than this, given her circumstances. As time wore on, however, Narcissa's body began to rebel even more; she was constantly tired, and she was having difficulty eating and, when she did eat, she had trouble keeping it down.

" _Cissy, please_ try _to eat the gelatin," Andromeda pleaded. Narcissa was having a very rough day; she was finding it difficult to swallow solid food, which was becoming the case more often than not, and her stomach had been giving her trouble for the past several days._

" _It's alright, Narcissa," Lucius said, stroking her forehead as she whimpered in pain, "Do you think you can try to eat a little bit for us?"_

" _I am so tired of it, though," Narcissa complained, "It's all I've been able to eat for nearly a week."_

" _I know, baby," said Andromeda, rubbing Narcissa's forearm soothingly, "But it's easy on your tummy, and it's easy for you to swallow."_

" _You have to eat something, sweetheart," said Lucius, "You can't starve yourself."_

 _Narcissa scoffed, "Fine, I'll eat it."_

 _Andromeda smiled and laughed, "That's my girl."_

 _She lifted a spoon with a small amount of cherry gelatin on it up to Narcissa's mouth; grudgingly, Narcissa managed to eat the whole bowlful without another complaint._

" _See?" said Lucius, "It wasn't bad at all, was it?"_

 _Narcissa shook her head, "I guess not."_

 _Lucius and Andromeda laughed, though a bit sadly; they knew she hated it more than anything that everyone else got to enjoy eating sandwiches and mince pies and cakes and puddings while she had to eat gelatin and soup broth for every meal._

" _If it'll make you feel better," said Andromeda, "I will eat gelatin_ with _you next time, and I promise not to eat in front of you when you can't have any of it, okay?"_

 _Lucius nodded, "Same here."_

" _You don't have to do that," said Narcissa, sincerely meaning it, "You don't have to stop enjoying things just because I can't enjoy them; it isn't fair to either of you. I'll probably be fine again in a couple of days, anyway; honestly, don't worry about it. I'm fine."_

 _The next day, though, just as they had promised, Lucius and Andromeda ate gelatin alongside her to show their support, and Narcissa, though she said they shouldn't have done it, was grateful for the gesture all the same._

It didn't take long for Narcissa to fall into a state of constant pain and distress. She had constant nausea and diarrhea, and breathing had become more difficult as well; she was becoming thinner than ever and was beginning to look older in spite of the fact that she had always looked very young for her age. Eventually, the Healers had had no choice but to run IV's carrying various potions to help treat her symptoms and keep her comfortable into her body. Narcissa said that none of this bothered her as long as she got to stay with them all a little longer, but they all knew she was lying; they knew that she hated needles and was very bothered by all of this indeed.

" _Cissy, it's okay to tell us if you're upset or frightened," said Andromeda; Narcissa had been crying silently for nearly ten minutes, and Andromeda knew it was because the reality of her situation was finally hitting her full-force. "It's okay to break down sometimes; it's a natural thing to do. You don't have to be so strong all the time; it okay to be vulnerable."_

 _After a silence that felt like it lasted an eternity, Narcissa said tearfully,_

" _I'm_ terrified _; I hate this. I hate every minute of it. I want my life back; I want to take walks in my garden, I want to dance with my husband, I want to spoil my grandson with gifts and play with him in the backyard like I used to do with Draco, I want to go shopping and to feel sun on my face, I want to be able to bathe myself and to wear my own clothes and to do my hair and makeup in the morning… I want… I want… I…"_

" _Oh, oh, oh." Andromeda sat on the edge of Narcissa's bed and pulled her into a hug. Narcissa sobbed against her sister's chest, letting go of any pretense that she was perfectly fine and accepting of her condition._

" _Let it out, sweetheart," Andromeda whispered, "Let it out; it's alright. It's alright."_

 _Narcissa, after several minutes of loud, ugly sobbing, wore herself out. As Andromeda lay her back down to let her sleep, she couldn't help but shed a few tears of her own; it seemed so unfair that one who had been through so much in life should have to suffer this way. It seemed to Andromeda that Narcissa deserved all of the things she wanted and more; things that most people took for granted, that Narcissa herself had taken for granted, she would never again get to have._

Over the course of a few more weeks, Narcissa's health continued to decline to a point where no amount of potions could give her relief. She still begged the Healers to sit her up and to let her carry on the same as always and not to make her take this lying on her back; she continued to insist to her family that she was fine and that she was going to keep hanging on, but it apparent to everyone that her time was drawing to a close, no matter how "fine" she pretended she was.

" _I am sorry to have to tell you all that she is in really bad shape," the Healer told them with a look of utmost sorrow on his face, "We have done all that we can for her; her body isn't responding to the potions anymore, and we have taken out her IV's; she has three, maybe four days left. She has been truly brave throughout all of this; she is taking death on with true grace and dignity. She wishes to speak with you all and to spend her remaining time surrounded by her family. She has been a wonderful patient, and we are all so happy to have been able to care for her. I am so sorry."_

After they were told that Narcissa had only a few days left to live, Lucius, Draco, and Astoria stayed with her throughout most of the day, only leaving to shower or to get food. They were all very surprised at how well Narcissa still seemed; she wasn't acting at all like a woman who was dying. Andromeda knew this was her last brave act; to smile through the pain she felt so that their last memory of her would not be one where she was broken down and miserable, but one where she was laughing, talking, and living, even though she knew she had only a matter of hours left. Draco and Astoria brought Scorpius in the day the announcement was made, so that he could say goodbye to her and not have to watch her die.

" _I don't want you to go, Grandma," Scorpius whispered, tears flowing down his small face._

" _I wish I didn't have to, my little love," she told him, stroking his blonde hair and holding him close to her like she had done when Draco was a small child and was upset about something, "But I won't be in pain anymore, and I'll always be with you, even after I'm gone, as long as you still think about me and tell others about me."_

" _I will," he promised her, "I love you, Grandma."_

" _I love you too, sweetheart."_

 _The two lay curled up together all day; Scorpius had brought in a book of his that his father had said was Narcissa's favourite and read it to her, then Narcissa told him a story of her own that she had heard as a child, and they fell asleep. Draco woke Scorpius up several hours later to take him home._

" _Goodbye, Grandma," he said tearfully._

" _Goodbye, my little love. I love you so, so much; remember that, okay?"_

" _I promise."_

 _Narcissa couldn't help but cry as she watched him go._

The next morning, Draco brought his mother several photo albums to look through, in hopes that it would give her that much more joy before she had to leave the world behind.

" _Mum," he said, picking up a picture of Narcissa from when she was particularly young, "How old were you in this one?"_

" _Oh, goodness, I must have been about eleven!" she declared, laughing at the photograph of her with her two sisters, giggling and hugging one another and all covered in snow, "Yes, we were all home for the Christmas holiday, and we had just been skating on the pond nearby our house. I had almost forgotten about this! We used to have so much fun together as children."_

 _They sat in silence for a few minutes, staring at the photograph. Draco saw his mother's eyes misting over, then watched a single tear flow freely down her cheek._

" _Mum?" he asked in a solemn tone, "Are you afraid to die?"_

 _Narcissa sighed, "Yes, quite. But I'm ready all the same; I can't bear to live like this anymore."_

" _I'm really going to miss you," Draco choked._

" _Oh, darling," she said, grabbing her son's hand and kissing it, "Listen to me; I love you so, so much. I wish I could stay here with you forever, and, no matter what, I will_ always _be your mother. When you look back on me, don't think of me as being sick, alright? I don't want any of you to remember me as the sick woman who couldn't take care of herself. I want you to remember me in whatever way makes you happiest, not in a way that makes you sad. You've tried so hard to keep me happy over the past few years; please don't let yourself be unhappy. Promise me, Draco."_

" _I promise, mum."_

" _Bring Astoria in; I have a few things to tell the both of you."_

 _Draco returned with his wife a few moments later; they both sat down, side-by-side, holding hands. Narcissa smiled and said,_

" _First, I want to thank the both of you for letting me stay with you while I was so ill; I wish I had a way to repay you that kindness."_

" _It was the least we could do," said Astoria, leaning forward and taking her mother-in-law's hand, "You have been so kind and generous to us and our son; you were so helpful to me when I was pregnant; it wouldn't have been fair not to offer you a place in our home when we have so many rooms to spare. It used to be your home, after all."_

 _Narcissa smiled warmly and said, "All the same, it means a great deal to me that you both took on the responsibility of taking caring for me and keeping me healthy and happy for as long as you could. I know it wasn't easy and that you both made a lot of sacrifices in doing that."_

" _It's alright, mum," Draco whispered._

" _Second, I want to tell you both what a wonderful son you have; he reminds me so much of you, Draco, so much of you. Thank you for letting him visit with me; a lot of parents would have kept their children shielded from something like this, and I appreciate that you didn't. He's a very strong boy, and I'm sure he will grow up to be a very kind and loving man. I have spent the last year since I've been here creating a scrapbook for him that is full of pictures and letters that tell him stories about all of our lives; Andromeda helped with it, and she will give it to you to give to him. Make sure that he gets it."_

" _We will," Draco and Astoria said together._

" _Lastly, please take care of one another. Love one another with all your hearts, and remember to say "I love you" often; you never know when tomorrow won't come and which "I love you" will be the last, so make them all count. Draco, be kind and patient with your father; don't allow him to wallow in sadness for too long. Be kind to your aunt as well; make sure to write to her every so often and to make sure and visit her at least on the holidays. She's a kind-hearted woman, and is a wonderful friend to have."_

" _I promise," said Draco._

" _I promise," whispered Astoria, "I love you very much; thank you for always being so kind to me."_

" _You're welcome, dear," said Narcissa, squeezing Astoria's hand. "You both are truly wonderful people, and I know you will continue to be very happy together. I am so proud of you both, and I love each of you will all my heart."_

Lucius had never felt less like talking to his wife in all the time they had been together; he hated seeing her lying in the bed, thin and frail, her muscles long since wasted away with lack of use. He had always thought they would grow old and die together, laughing and dancing up until their last breath. The Healer had told them all she was taking it with dignity, but he saw nothing dignified about any of this; he thought very bitterly that there was no dignity in dying, and that she did not deserve to die this way.

" _Lucius, please don't take it so hard," Narcissa told him as he sat down next to her, not bothering to look her in the face, "We all knew it was coming; it's been coming for three years. You have Draco and Scorpius to care for; please don't give up after I'm gone."_

" _What will I do without you?" he asked, allowing a few tears to slide down his face, "I don't know how to live without you, Narcissa."_

" _You will find a way," she said, "You have to, for your son and grandson's sake. You'll find strength in them, I know you will. They need you, just like I've needed you."_

" _It isn't fair," he said, "You don't deserve this."_

" _I know it seems unfair that I have to go," Narcissa said softly, caressing his face, "But just think: I won't be in pain anymore. I won't need all of the IV's and potions to keep me alive; I won't need someone to change me because I've soiled myself, or to bathe me when I start to smell bad. There's a silver lining in everything, Lucius, so please don't be so upset. For me."_

 _As she closed his hand around his wrist, he thought it amazing that she could be so strong, even in the face of death._

" _Alright," he said tearfully, "I promise."_

" _And take care of Andromeda, won't you?" Narcissa asked, "Make sure she has what she needs and that she doesn't become too depressed. Please?"_

" _Whatever you wish," he told her, kissing her hand._

" _I love you, darling," she whispered._

" _I love you, too, sweetheart. I will_ always _love you."_

Andromeda had not left her sister's side once since they had received the news that Narcissa was truly dying, except to allow her to speak to other members of the family. The Healers had allowed her to crawl into bed with Narcissa and sleep with her; Narcissa appreciated it greatly, as she wanted nothing more than to be held. As the Healers came in to take her off life support, Andromeda decided that she could not stay on the bed any longer; she had begun to feel like she didn't want to stay there and watch her sister die at all, but she forced herself to move into the chair beside her bed, holding Narcissa's hand tightly and staying with her like she had promised her she would do.

" _Andy," Narcissa said, wrapping her arm around her sister's waist, "Thank you for everything; I know it hasn't been easy to watch me go through this and that you have had to give up a lot of time with your grandson to be with me. I am so happy we made up and got to have a few more years with each other."_

" _We should have had more," said Andromeda bitterly, "It's not fair; we aren't even in our sixties yet. You're too young."_

" _I know it isn't fair, Andy," said Narcissa, rubbing her side, "But it's the way it has to be, I'm afraid. No one can live forever, and I've lived all that I can."_

" _You certainly have had a full life," Andromeda agreed, "And you have been an incredibly brave and strong woman; I don't know of many people who could go through something like this and keep a smile on their face, but you have. You could have given up at any time and would probably have died sooner, but you toughed it out. I'm so proud of you, Cissy; so proud."_

" _I couldn't just leave you all," said Narcissa, "It would have been wrong to leave when I still had a bit of strength left in me; I needed more time to say goodbye."_

" _I'm glad you kept up the fight," said Andromeda, "I needed more time to say goodbye, too; we all did."_

 _Suddenly, Narcissa's voice changed; it became weaker and more distant._

" _I'm so tired, Andy."_

 _Andromeda closed her eyes, knowing that this was going to be the last time they ever spoke to one another. She knew that Narcissa was finally giving in to her body's wish to die._

" _Cissy, I love you. I love you so, so much."_

" _I love you, too, Andy," Narcissa whispered. With a deep, shuddering breath, she said, "Please, don't leave me._ _ **I'm scared**_ _."_

" _I know, sweetheart," Andromeda said, trying to keep a brave face for her, although she was very scared herself, "I won't leave you; I'll be with you until the very end, I promise."_

Just as the night fell, three days after the Healer had told them all Narcissa was getting ready to go, Narcissa's heart beat its final beat, and she slipped quietly out of the world.


End file.
